MY NAME IS JAMES ALVAREZ

woohoo, i got the job, im now an employee of stealth/rescue rooms, the lady interviewing me was a very nice person, and I should be starting as soon as possible. Which is great because I need money fast.

In other news in the last 24 hours I have eaten 40 double finger kit kats. I'd forgotten how good chocolate tastes. MMMM. I'm not joking, I've eaten 40.

Why do I hate winter so much? Today was a typical winter's day. I couldn't get to sleep until about 2, and then woke up at 3.30 and 5. My 3.30 awakening consisted of walking into the kitchen in my boxers and grabbing a knife, spinning out paranoid, cos there was something rumaging around ouside, which turned out to be a fox which I told, 'FUCK OFF YOU STUPID FOX'. My 5 oclock awakening consisted of needing a drink.

I then got rudely awoken by my alarm at the crack of dawn looked out the window, it was grey overcast and cold. I had that tired feeling that feels like I'd worn out my muscles shivering all night, like that feeling that something sucked out my soul, and paralysed the muscles that open my eyes. I was too ill for breakfast so had a shower where I nearly fell asleep and slipped and started cursing and swearing, before putting on my clothes and heading out on my bike. Winter makes my brakes squeel, so I cruise down the long hill of derby road with the angriest, meanest expression I can pull, while my brakes are deafening, and making everybody stare at me.

Anyway, after an extremely dull lecture, I get back home and try to do some work but of course I can't concentrate, so I have a nap and sleep for 3 hours and wake up and it's fucking dark again, and freezing.

On the brightside, I've got a job interview tomorow, and I found my herbal sleeping pills which I'm going to properly abuse tonite.

I wrote a poem about winter:

WINTER
I fucking hate winter,
Anybody who likes winter is a cunt.
Some people think winter is romantic and beautiful,
I would like to smack their faces with broken bottle.
I want to hibernate.

I was just rinsing around on my bmx after byin some sticks, despite it being extremely cold, when foolishly I jumped up onto this kerb without judging the amount of landing I had. Consequently I careered straight into a wall bustin up my knee realy bad, and now I have a limp. Whoever saw me probably laughed as I screamed like a little girl threw my bike on the ground and knelt on the ground tending to my knee. It was painful. In other news, I'm going to have a brain scan on friday morning ;/

my piano is fed up with me, playing in a minor all the time, two of my a keys have broken, this week, so i've switched to d minor, which is still fairly easy to play in, and even sounds a bit sadder.

ive arranged for a tuner to come and fix it though, so all will be sweet

last night I had a training session round somebodies house, but most of time was spent waiting for this instructor to come round, sat in an awkward circle chatting. To begin with it was light parlance of darker skies, looming deadlines and broken central heating. That was just the beginning, we then went on to talking about all the shit clubs like ocean and the works in nottingham, the ones that play music from the charts etc. I had absolutely nothing to say while they talked about that for about 10 minutes until I said 'I never understand why people go to those shit clubs, the music is terrible, I'd rather dance on my own in my room, than with a bunch of sweaty drunk people looking to pull' which was met with a MASSIVE awkward silence - woops I was just saying how I felt! I then saw someone eating pringles, so I told them about monosodium glutamate and how addictive it was. Luckily although I got some odd looks, conversation proceeded onto to talk about food for a while, which was the highlight of the night, and spirits were high enough for us to all share a pot of tea. It all went downhill when someone noticed that the t.v was off, (we weren't allowed it on for some strange reason) and naturally some idiot starts spouting out all the crap they watched during the daytime, and of course everyone in the room was a total t.v addict except me, and watch all kinds of obscure programs. My sole contribution on that topic was 'I'm not much of a t.v watcher, in fact I only watch neighbors and the simpsons, I find my brain seems to switch off when ever the t.v is on, or even mentioned for that matter' that again caused an awkward silence. That was supposed to be an attempt at lightening a really intense but boring conversation, although luckily someone picked up on the neighbors, and a neighbors chat ensued, which luckily I could join in on. Afterwards, another member in the group was looking pretty fucking bored too, so I challenged him to a game of snap with a pair of cards that was lying down, and that lasted until work had to be done. I went straight home afterwards. It remined me of how easy it is to hate students and how sorry I feel for anyone who isn't a student having to deal with them. Oh well, in retrospect I found it quite funny! I don't hate students at all, I just don't like the process of getting to know them.

It certainly is winter now. I can tell because I get confused whether people are angry at me or not. I can never work out whether its pure paranoia or some subconscious signal I give off that pisses people off, I reckon it's a combination of both. This time of year makes me want to stay in my room and spend all my time studying and practicing instruments. The problem with this is that I eventually get bored and depressed when ever I take up this way of life, so I inevitably get nothing done apart from checking the bandsoc board.

The other option is going out, but the problem with winter is that it takes control of my brain and forces so much alcohol into me that I go nuts and remain hungover for days afterwards. Moderation is not an option during winter, I've started drinking every night, and I have supposed to have stopped smoking but had a cigarette everyday for the last 3 days. The excuses have been 'a nice glass of wine and a ciggy will calm you down and you get get down to work'. Kind of works too. Not gonna let it happen again though I hope. Meh well, this winter shioot is old hat now, I can deal with it, I am actually most of the time quite happy.

On the plus side I am getting skillz on the piano, and now I am a drummer in two bands, I feel it's my duty to get skillz on drums (namely tightness, which seems to have left me after a 2month hiatus) and also getting well into the reading for one of my modules. Hopefully I'll have read so much by christmas that for revision all I need to do is practice exam questions, and just rinse the exams.

Today I am finaly getting some reading done, but I just have to get this joke out of my system that I just made.

What did the american politician play at the mathematics ball on drums?

Algorithms

(Al Gore Rythms)

Bubum Tsss

Had a pretty intense couple of days, but have proudly attended all my lectures. I got charged on vodka and saw squarepusher on sunday night and thought I was having an epileptic fit at many stages due to the sheer intensity of music and lights. It was truly awesome. I had dreams like time delay motion capture thing and everything was really close up and get chopping and changing, and a lot of dream that was just colours and lights flashing.

Had a monger of a day on monday, but got lots of organizing done in my hungover state before heading down to birmingham to see sigur ros. Train took 3 hours to get there due to assorted crapness, and 2 hours to get back as well! I got bulled up on 4 cans of red bull on the way down there as I wa nearly falling asleep, and was shaking throughout most of sigur ros's performace. Perhaps I brought too high expectations, the sound was awesome, the orchestra was awesome but something wasn't quite 100% spot on, and they only played one track from my favourite album... Nevertheless it was stunning inspiring and I sunk right in and loved every second. The red bulls ran out on the train journey home and I kept passing out, and this morning I felt like my soul had left my body.

I've just had a nap and its sunny, I might read a book for the rest of today.

I decided to settle this once and for all. I've spent far too long spinning my bike wheel. With one spin from stationary, it spins for 8 minutes and 9 seconds (rounded up) now I can rest.