MY NAME IS JAMES ALVAREZ

In response to:title-567578

Sun, 06 Jul 2008 14:24:51 +0200

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In response to:title-567578

Wed, 07 May 2008 05:13:11 +0200

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In response to:title-567578

Sun, 19 Feb 2006 13:56:55 +0100

He would probably do a drive by on some crack hoodlums - or write a rap song, possibly both.

I'll consider those options.

In response to:title-567578

Sun, 19 Feb 2006 13:01:14 +0100

Just think:

What would Fiddy Cent do?

In response to:Joke

Wed, 25 Jan 2006 00:49:38 +0100

hehe people keep leaving you "you seem cool" messages on your alternative journal.. I reckon they are going by your picture.. Or possibly all the amazing death defying insights to life you make

yo bitch

In response to:title-463144

Sat, 14 Jan 2006 03:16:40 +0100

hehe.

james is frightened of something
james is frightened that something thinks james is frightened of everything
james is pretending he isnt frightened of everything
james is frightened something thinks james is pretending he isn't frightened of everything
sometimes james isn't frightened, but then,
james is frightened of being frightened of something
james is frightened that something think james is frightened
james pretends he isnt frightened of being frightened
james is frightened that something thinks james is pretending to not be frightened

james decides to ignore everything that he thinks thinks he is frightened to show he is not frightened
james is frightened by ignoring everything that he thinks thinks he is frightened that that everything doesn't like him for ignoring it

et cetera
et cetera
'oh woe is me' james says, as he drinks his beers and smoke his cigarettes, and realises that he can't remember exactly what he was originally scared of or why he was scared of it and exclaims 'damn those knots'
----

believe it or not thats the kind of thing I go through all the time! luckily I've discussed these knots with others before and realise that everybody has them to some extent, and have friends with more convoluted knots than me! Also I know my knots inside out and think I know why I have them, so they don't seem to truly annoy me much anymore. I just call it 'feeling distanced'.

I should say for the readers who are utterly confused by this point, that knots is a book by r.d.laing which is a sort of frank document of the silly worlds people make up around themselves and others. By doing so it seems to lessen the weight these knots seem to have.

I'm not a mega-paranoid person, but I have a bad habit of analysing everything to death, that to be honest I absolutely love doing! But alas sometimes I wish I hadn't gone delving. And its annoying when I can't stop thinking about something because I have to do something like revision or being nice to someone who I care about or getting to sleep or remembering to do this and that.

Such is the life of me. My mum has often told me that she has often suspected that I have very mild aspergers... Which would explain why I have trouble stopping thinking about something when I've started. But theres a nasty knot around that...

In response to:title-463144

Sat, 14 Jan 2006 02:33:58 +0100

seems that the something is wrong
or that the calling is wrong

hehe I know the answer

that book is truely making me hyper. I love it when you come across something that sums up your current views on life. Confirming you arent crazy and might even have a whiff of intelligence about you somewhere.

Claire wants to be intelligent
Claire is intelligent
Claire cant admit being intelligent because to admit intelligence makes you stupid.
Claire is not intelligent post statement. But is intelligent for observing. She must pretend she didnt say anything and appear to think she isnt intelligent to receive confirmation of her intelligence.
You can only be intelligent if someone else confirms it
Nobody will confirm if you have already confirmed it

Im getting somewhere certainly
Oh the silent rules we adhere to

In response to:title-463144

Sat, 14 Jan 2006 01:43:58 +0100

Everybody used to call stuff gay at school. It's because most boys going through puberty are sweating testosterone from their teeth and are anxious to declare their heterosexuality to the world.

I wish the word queer still meant odd and strange, as it would be ace to say, 'something queer just happened'. It's a unfortunate word to have to be careful using.

It's unfortunate, the only strong words that are safe to use are 'fuck' and 'shit'. And when I was discussing the swear words with my mum and sister, they didn't seem to think 'twunt' was as offensive as 'twat' or 'cunt' despite being a portmanteau out of the two words. This double dissociation precisely illustrates that swear words are only offensive because they have a sort of metaphorical use, and that they become unoffensive when the meaning is distanced.

For instance the word bugger, seems tame as does calling someone a plonker, but I totally agree calling something gay seems wrong.

In response to:title-463144

Fri, 13 Jan 2006 23:50:53 +0100

Cunt cunt cunt.. I've always liked that word.. And as a roaring female if I was ever told I cant say that word I would call that person a CUNT.

It's so abrupt, I've always loved saying it. Dick sounds so flacid and weak.. Cunt sounds powerful..

But Im probably bias (probably, que? Everyone is bias you silly cunt Claire).

But yeah its all about context and what people mean way they say the word. If you use cunt because you think a vagina is a horrible nasty thing and thus its an insult to call someone a vagina then .. um.. grrrr at you. But I dont believe thats how people use the word anymore. Same as calling someone gay I suppose. But I refuse to accept that the meaning behind gay has changed as much as the meaning behind cunt.
I may sound like a contradiction, but I believe when you say "gay" as an insult you are saying that gay is a derogatory term. And it riles me when thats the only word people say "like oh my god thats so gay.. My hair is so gay" It doesnt bloody mean anything. You might as well replace every description with dot dot dot or something.

Where as cunt is older and doesnt mean that anymore.. Maybe.

Also gay used to mean happy anyway.. ah well

In response to:title-463144

Thu, 12 Jan 2006 20:23:00 +0100

I just felt that reading that sentance sounded too bad with the full word! I felt if I left it in, it would be suggesting that I was laughing at how offensive it could be to use it in that context, when in fact using it that way would be despicable.

In response to:title-463144

Thu, 12 Jan 2006 18:31:17 +0100

Why did you censor yourself in the 2nd paragraph?

In response to:proudness

Sun, 04 Dec 2005 12:44:07 +0100

ACHH! I hate the way universities steal from their students. It happens in all disciplines.

Oh by the way - Hello.

In response to:yay

Sat, 26 Nov 2005 07:52:41 +0100

congrats for getting job.

In response to:yay

Thu, 24 Nov 2005 19:56:38 +0100

It wouldn't be a small child, it would be a little fatty if all it did was eat Kitkats 24 hours a day. Good use of the calculator.. lol

In response to:yay

Thu, 24 Nov 2005 18:58:32 +0100

Rubbish. Thats less than 2 an hour. A small child could do that.

In response to:yay

Thu, 24 Nov 2005 14:05:44 +0100

40 kitkats, that is impressive. Congrats on the job too, that is also impressive.

In response to:sleeping pill time.

Thu, 24 Nov 2005 01:06:23 +0100

That's exactly what I need. I have a fair few months to wait for that though unfortunatly.

In response to:sleeping pill time.

Wed, 23 Nov 2005 18:56:57 +0100

You need an extreme shot of intense sunshine..!

In response to:a winter poem:

Tue, 22 Nov 2005 12:25:12 +0100

it's a poem, poems are often fantasy based, I would never hit someone with a broken bottle, unless they were attacking me and that was my only line of defence. The image works poeticly as it shows how strongly my negative feelings are for winter that when people talk about liking it I want to hit them. It's deep, because basicly I'm jealous of people who seem to be largely unaffected by winter, reminding me of my dormouse gene that I inherited somewhere down the line.

Why do I hate winter so much? More poems coming up soon.

In response to:a winter poem:

Tue, 22 Nov 2005 12:21:06 +0100

well come up here and take a swing...lol

In response to:My creative work today

Sun, 20 Nov 2005 00:44:56 +0100

That is actually sick. It took me a while to see the angry mouse but I'm chuffed now I have. Layers man. I may try this concept myself

In response to:Joke

Sat, 19 Nov 2005 13:58:24 +0100

Thankyou for your comment, I'm glad to know my talent interests you.

In response to:Joke

Sat, 19 Nov 2005 13:24:58 +0100

interesting

In response to:My creative work today

Sun, 13 Nov 2005 21:54:03 +0100

Well, the tibetans have their prayer wheels...

In response to:Today I

Sat, 12 Nov 2005 20:00:35 +0100

Hahaha. You nob.

In response to:Today I

Sat, 12 Nov 2005 19:39:35 +0100

FUCK OFF MY BLOG U TWAT

In response to:Today I

Sat, 12 Nov 2005 19:27:51 +0100

"To see a world in a grain of sand and heaven in a wild flower, Hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour."
-- William Blake (1757-1827),

In response to:Today I

Sat, 12 Nov 2005 19:27:51 +0100

"To see a world in a grain of sand and heaven in a wild flower, Hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour."
-- William Blake (1757-1827),